After
by themockingcat
Summary: A series of vignettes about Katniss and Peeta growing closer after the war.
1. Now

**My first one shot written in honour of Everlark. I'm equal parts nervous and excited. If you do read it thank you and please let me know what you think. Massive thanks to plumgal1899 for betaing for me.**

She could never quite believe how often her thoughts centred around Peeta, no matter where she was or what she was doing. She supposed they always had though she would have been the last to admit it. Or even realise it. She had watched him though, always kept him in her periphery, and kept track of him, with no clue that she was doing so. Now that he was hers, she could be a lot more open about it. But there were times when she didn't want him to know. She liked being able to admire him and get lost in her daydreams (fantasies?) about what they could do together, what they had done together.

Right now, Peeta was at the bakery, nearing the end of his shift and would be home soon. Katniss was at home but had been in the woods. Not to hunt but to just be outside, to get lost in her thoughts while taking in the scenery around her. She liked that she could do that now. The woods had always been important to her because of her father, but for so many years going there was a necessity for survival, and not something to be enjoyed. Now that that was no longer the case, she enjoyed the beauty that surrounded her and the peace it brought without feeling guilty.

Holding a mug of hot tea in her hands, hoping it would warm them up, she sat at the kitchen table and let her mind wander. She liked that everything was theirs now, Katniss and Peeta's, not just that's mine and that's yours. It gave her a warm feeling of satisfaction, knowing that they were a real couple now, a team. You couldn't have one without the other.

Smiling, she took another sip of tea and wondered what he was doing at this moment. It was bitterly cold now, and it always made her worry that his leg would bother him, especially with his long walk home. She would always be a worrier, particularly when it concerned him. She tried not to frown, and wondered if she should have met him to make sure he was okay. Glancing at the clock and realising the time, she knew there was no point in doing that now, as he would likely be leaving, or already on his way to her, although he did like it when she surprised him by meeting her. This made her smile again and she let herself be consumed by thoughts of him.

He was so beautiful, the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. She loved to run her fingers through his blonde hair, and would marvel at how soft it felt. Peeta would grin bashfully at her when she would do this. It was a sweet gesture on her part and not something she would do in front of others. In typical Katniss fashion, she didn't like expressing the depth of her feelings for Peeta in front of other people because it still reminded her too much of their dark past. How everyone wanted a piece of them, exploiting their relationship and twisting it beyond recognition. Peeta understood this, and on his part tried to restrain himself towards Katniss when in company. It wasn't so hard to do after what they had been through, after everything that had happened.

She thought of his stunning cerulean eyes, those eyes that forever saw into her and through her, like he was peering into her soul. It was almost unnerving, how well he knew her and could read her so easily. More often than not, those eyes made her catch her breath and she would be amazed at how bright they were, so different from her own grey orbs.

Hearing his footsteps approaching from outside, Katniss jumped out of her reverie, put her mug down and made her way to the sink to do the dishes. There weren't many, but she didn't like the idea of sitting and relaxing while Peeta was at work. She constantly felt like she should have more important things to do. Plus, she would get the sense that he knew she had been thinking of him, which embarrassed her, as she had never been the type of girl to sit around and daydream about anyone. But Peeta brought out this side of her, whether she liked it or not.

"Katniss," he called out as he came through the door.

She turned around and smiled, so free with her smiles when it concerned him.

"Hey," she said warmly, and felt a blush spread to her cheeks at the sight of him

He smiled in reply. It was freezing out now, and she watched him removing his thick coat, his scarf, his hat, revealing more of him to her. His skin was like porcelain due to the cold, and her breath caught in her throat when he removed his coat. She could see the material of his sweater spanning his strong, broad chest, and continued staring at him quietly, fidgeting slightly, trying to relieve some of the tension she was starting to feel.

Peeta was unaware of this, taking his boots off and trying to catch his breath after the walk home.

"So, how was your day?" he asked.

"Hmm. What?"

"I asked how your day was."

"It was fine. Good," she replied.

"Oh yeah, do anything nice while I was slaving away at work?" he asked, gently teasing her.

She smiled, but continued to observe him, noting how untamed his hair was, and the light stubble that covered his jaw . . . His jaw. She loved that jaw. Loved holding it in her hands so she could pepper kisses across it from one side to the other. She also enjoyed the feel of it between her thighs, a new experience for them up until a few weeks ago. It still made her blush thinking about it, how much she enjoys it, how much she craved him pleasuring her in that way. It's such an intimate act, one she would never want with anyone else. And Peeta, he seemed to relish doing it, had told her so any rate, and loved to watch her fall apart beneath his tongue. Peeta had always been a fast learner, and if it concerned Katniss, eager to please. He knew exactly what to do now, how to make her scream his name and writhe with pleasure. She always seemed surprised by how much she enjoyed it, and Peeta loved that he brought out that side of her, and that he was the only one to do so.

Her pupils were now dilated and dark, her breathing faster and uneven. Warmth was pooling at her centre, and she could feel how moist she was becoming there. Peeta, realising she hadn't answered and sensing a change in atmosphere, turned towards her and took her in. He knew, he always knew just by looking at her.

He walked towards her, cupped her face in his hands and kissed her, once, softly, on the lips. Katniss whimpered, a low needy sound that Peeta would never get tired of hearing. Encouraged, he kissed her again and gently slid his tongue into her welcoming mouth. They both sighed at the contact, their tongues caressing lazily, like they had all the time in the world. Peeta pulled her in closer, their hips and chests flush against each other. Gently and unconsciously, they started to grind their hips, moving in a circular motion. Katniss could feel herself getting wetter, knew she needed some sort of pressure to relieve the tension but it felt so good. He felt so good. She could feel every inch of him, could feel how much he wanted her.

Pulling his mouth away from hers he started to kiss down her neck while his left hand simultaneously cupped her right breast. She gasped out, arched her back, pushing her breasts further into him. Opening her eyes she looked into the blue depths of his, dark and hooded. Wanting him in this way was a luxury she never thought she would have. Being able to have him feels decadent.

Taking his hand in hers she leads him toward their bedroom. She doesn't need to ask, she knows he wants this as much as she does. Once inside, he makes quick work of taking her clothes off, helping her to lift her top over her head and easing her jeans down her legs. They watch each other and smile the whole time. She helps him take off his sweater and vest, then his pants while he removes his underwear and socks in one go. She looks at him in wonderment. He has such broad shoulders, so strong from lifting bags of flour at the bakery. She takes in his bare chest, his flat stomach and the "v" indent of his hipbones. She loves that v shape and enjoys tracing it with her fingers, her tongue. Looking lower, she sighs in appreciation now that he is revealed to her. _Mine_, she thinks.

Not wanting to wait any longer, Katniss scoots up the bed and lays flat, the anticipation of what was to come making her breasts rise with each ragged breath. Peeta placed himself at the foot of the bed and gently, slowly, pulls her underwear down her long, lean legs, leaving her bare before him. She's so moist and wet, he could see how much she needs him, wants him. She parts her legs a little wider in expectation and eagerness, while Peeta admires her before him.

"Peeta," she says shyly.

Hearing her snaps him out of it and he moves towards her on the bed, aligning himself with her, his hips flush against her own. He looks at her perfect, pert breasts causing him to groan at the sight. Capturing her lips in a kiss he caresses her mounds, cupping them in his big, strong hands. Lowering his head he envelopes one with his lips while his hand maintains its embrace on the other before switching, lavishing them both with attention, sucking on them, teasing them.

Running her hands through his hair she tries to hold him in place. Bucking her hips into his, they both groan, and she keeps doing it, trying to tell him what she wants without having to ask. Peeta knows what she wants (he always knows) and lifts his face from his busy work on her chest to look at her face, blue meeting grey.

Lowering himself, he kisses his way down her body, enjoying her trapped beneath him. She keeps her hands in his hair, urging him on, the anticipation of what he will do almost too much but never enough. Reaching her centre, he puts his arms underneath her thighs to help keep her in place and spread out before him.

He has become so good at this, this type of kiss. He knows she's still too shy to ask for what she wants, especially this, but it's something they can work on. For now, it's enough that he knows how much she enjoys it and that he enjoys doing it.

He moves back up her body, kissing his way there, her chest heaving slightly and skin glistening. She is still gasping, but opens her eyes, smiles and pulls him closer.

"Thank you, that was amazing."

"You know I enjoy doing it," he replied, lightly kissing her.

Katniss, needing to feel him closer, tugs at his hips, and he wastes no time in lowering himself into her. They both whimper, foreheads touching, breaths comingling. She runs her hands along his neck and his strong, muscled back and wraps her legs around his waist.

He groans, and begins to thrust into her gently, wanting it to last but he's so pent up from making her fall apart earlier he knows it won't. Katniss also knows this, knows the signs of when he is close to finishing. She wants to urge him on, wants him to feel a fraction of the pleasure he made her feel, the way he always makes her feel when they are together like this.

She starts urging him with soft words to come, and matches his rhythm, hoping she can make him fall apart above her, loving that she can make him feel this way. Kissing her neck and collarbone, he reaches his hand down their bodies to touch her there, the secret spot they discovered together, the spot that tells him she is his. She makes the sound he likes, the sound only he has or ever will hear. He clenches his jaw, waiting for her finish. She starts to feel the pleasure spiking quickly, unexpectedly, like it always does, and cries out, clinging to his strong shoulders and kissing the jaw she loves so much. He never lets her finish after him, always puts her needs first, her pleasure first.

The room is humid as they grip and writhe against each other, and she watches his face as he nears his finish, enjoying the sounds he makes, revelling in the fact she's the one making him like this, making him lose control. His body shakes and he cries out. They both still, hugging each other. He is still inside of her, in no hurry to move. She wants to be as close to him for as long as possible.

Raising himself off of her, he flops down onto the bed and turns his head towards her.

"That was a nice surprise," he says shyly. She understands what he means. They haven't been intimate for long and when they have been it's always at night, when they were going to bed anyway.

She smiles back, looking at his beautiful face, knowing she will never get tired of seeing that face stare back at her, in adoration, in love.

"I love you," she says, and hopes he can see the same look of adoration and love on her face. It's not as easy for her to admit how she feels, to show it. But he helps her, makes it easier, and makes her feel things she never thought she would.

He smiles, a smile so bright and brilliant no one could help but be blinded by it. All he ever wanted was her, and it's been so hard for them to get here and reach this type of intimacy, this closeness. What they have is real, precious, and for them only.

He rolls over and onto her, cupping her face in his hands and tells her he loves her. They smile, laugh, and it's like the darkness they both still face grows fainter with every "I love you" spoken.


	2. Winter

**This was originally a one shot but I've decided to continue with it. Not so much chapters of the same story but more like a series of vignettes about our favourite couple growing back together. Thank you for reading and big thanks to plumgal1899 for beta'ing for me. Enjoy!**

It was snowing heavily now, and looked like it had no intention of stopping. If anything, it was coming down faster, coating everything in sight, giving victor's village an eerie, almost fairy tale quality to it. Katniss, not able to sleep, had been watching it for some time, occasionally touching her fingertips to their bedroom window, imagining how soft and cool it would feel. Although now it wouldn't be so much cool as freezing cold.

It looked beautiful she supposed, but her attitude on winter had not changed much. It was a cruel season, not for her and Peeta, not anymore, but before . . . Before when she was just a lowly seam girl from District 12 trying desperately to keep her mother and Prim from starving to death. When there were days she could be in the woods from morning to evening, trying to scavenge anything edible for them, but all around her was barren and desolate. She could remember those cold, bitter months vividly, how they seemed devoid of anything and everything, and she would never have enough layers to keep her warm or comfortable. But back then, she was used to doing without. What other choice did she have? Did any of them have?

It wasn't like it was any better when she got home. Their house in the seam was basic and offered little in the way of protection against winter. And of course there were the occupants inside the house: her mother, so vacant and absent mentally, may as well have been gone physically. There were times when Katniss thought that might be better, though she would never dare say it and would feel so guilty the thought would disappear as quickly as it came. Prim would try desperately to appear unaffected by it all but there would be times when she was unable to hide how she really felt. Katniss would put on a brave face because she was the strong one, she had to be. They depend on her, whether she asked for it or not wasn't the point, it was what she had to do. She wanted to keep Prim from the harsh reality of their situation, but it was another losing battle.

Yes, the cold atmosphere in the house could be worse than the deathly chill of winter.

Sighing, she mentally scolded herself for letting her mind wander to such dark thoughts when today was the one day her and Peeta could spend together. The bakery was closed and she would take a break from hunting. Even Haymitch didn't intrude on this day unless invited. But she couldn't help it, not really. It wasn't that far back in the past after all, which meant she had nothing to compare this winter to. The first winter they were spending together, as a real couple. Some of the time had been so cosy, so full of warmth it made her heart swell. It wasn't something she was used to, but had become something she couldn't do without now that she had it. Nights when they would sit in front of the fireplace drinking hot chocolate topped with cream and eating bread, sharing stories, cuddling each other, telling secrets, laying down on soft blankets, caressing each other, and making love until they both panted in ecstasy. She smiled. Even when her thoughts didn't centre on Peeta, they always came back to him. It was who she was now, and it was such a constant part of her that she hardly noticed it anymore.

Diverting her attention away from the snow outside, she turned around and looked at Peeta. He was sleeping soundly, which didn't happen as often as it should but was becoming a more regular occurrence. It was unusual for Katniss to wake before him but occasionally it happened. The quilt had lowered during the night, and she could see his chest rising and falling steadily with each breath. His hair, silky smooth, looked as untamed as ever. His luscious, pink lips were parted very slightly, almost like an invitation for Katniss to slide her tongue into his perfect mouth. Blushing, she looked at his bare torso and abdomen, the taut expanse of muscle she so admired, and enjoyed touching

She thought back several nights, how she had explored his beautiful body with her hands and mouth. It always amazed her how turned on she could get by pleasuring him. He must feel the same way about her, surely. Maybe more, as he had wanted her for so much longer. It wasn't something she had thought possible but that was the effect Peeta had on her. He made her believe anything was possible. And it was, if they were together. Being separated again was something they would avoid at all costs. It was never spoken about, but it was there - one of many secret understandings they had together.

She shivered, and it wasn't from the cold. A dull, but pleasant ache lightly throbbed between her thighs, a wet heat that always came on quickly, heightening her awareness of how much she wanted him, and her own arousal. Her breathing had picked up slightly, her eyes hooded and a darker shade of grey. Katniss was a survivor, through circumstance but also by nature. It equipped her with the skills and confidence to get what she wanted. And right now, she wanted him. She would always want him. That would never change. Watching him very closely she stalked towards him, like the hunter the world knew her to be, revelling in the sight of him, on their bed, like he knew this would happen to her.

She stopped at the foot of it, reached out to touch his toned, tight abdomen and traced her fingers very lightly across his defined muscles. She would much rather use her mouth but she didn't want to wake him . . . not yet. She was enjoying the feel of him under her hands too much, and there was something almost sinful about what she was doing. Another side of her they had discovered together. Being called pure always irritated her, few things didn't back then. But she didn't feel pure now. Not with Peeta anyway. Being with him made her forget herself and allowed her to get lost in the moment, permitted her to indulge her fantasies, all of which include him. Only him.

Peeta twitched, but seemed to resume his peaceful slumber. Katniss grew bolder, and started to play with the waistband of his boxers, wishing they were looser so she could just slide them off. As it was, she toyed with the outer edge of them and stroked the darker blond hair she could see, as low as she could go, light as a feather. She wanted to taste him so badly. Peeta did enjoy having her mouth on him, more than he liked to admit, but he always seemed slightly ashamed by it. Like he was forcing her to do something she would rather not, something degrading. Katniss could sense this, and in her own way tried to reassure him, not just about the physical act but also how much she enjoyed doing it. Giving him pleasure was something she relished doing. It was a way for her to show him how she felt when she still had difficulty voicing those feelings.

Losing patience, she tried to lower the boxers further, as gently as she could without disturbing him. It became a game, how much she could get away with before he woke up and realised what she was doing.

Suddenly, his waist rose off the mattress, startling Katniss. She looked up and locked onto those blue eyes she loved so much. His cheeks were flushed, his breathing faster and uneven. He whispered the words "don't stop." She didn't waste any more time and lowered his boxers off of him, before taking him in her greedy mouth. He whimpered, a delicious sound that Katniss wanted to hear again and again. His hands tangled in her hair and he gently thrust his hips into her, trying to restrain himself from going too deep. She wanted every inch of him, wanted everything he could give her and she loved the feel of him trembling because of her.

"Katniss," he said desperately, trying to warn her.

She listened but didn't care. She wanted to know his taste and was almost feral in her need for him, to do this for him.

He cried out, his back bowed off the bed and his hips bucked into her talented mouth one last time.

She kept going and took everything he gave her, every last drop of him.

His body stilled, his eyes were dazed and his expression one of pure bliss. She watched him in awe. She made that happen.

"Are you okay?" she asked him.

"Thank you," he said, brushing his thumb over her bottom lip. "That was amazing."

Proud of herself, she let him recover before she kissed her way from his lower abdomen to his strong, broad chest. He smelled so good, so Peeta like. It made her hungrier for him, like she couldn't get enough. Peeta watched her do this and the sight of her made him groan. She looked magnificent. Her lush, dark hair was loose and free. Her eyes were wild with desire for him, only ever for him. Her lithe, lean body was on top of his like that's where she belonged. Like there was nowhere else she would rather be. And there wasn't. It was a sight he would never get tired of seeing. His fantasies and dreams just didn't do it justice.

She reached his neck and kissed it greedily before she flicked her tongue over his pulse point, causing him to tip his neck back so she could lavish his exposed throat with attention before she moved to his jaw, one of her favourite parts of him.

She pressed hot, open mouthed kisses across it while one of his hands held her hair, the other twisted on the bed sheet. They rubbed and panted against each other, so in synch with the others rhythm. Finally she reached his mouth, and kissed him with fervour, with a heat he returned. Their tongues flicked hotly against one another and he cupped her face between his big, baker's hands and his hips bucked into her, causing them both to whimper in want and need. Feeling that he was becoming hard again, Katniss' hips tried to match his, and she positioned herself so that his hardness was in direct contact with that sweet, little button of hers - the one Peeta loved to shower with attention, especially with his tongue.

She lowered her hand down their bodies and palmed him, catching him off guard, causing him to tear his mouth away from hers, while he panted heavily against her check. Gripping him harder she stroked faster and felt him swell even more, listened to the sounds he made, used them as her guide, and urged him to buck into her hand quicker and focus on his own pleasure. That wasn't in Peeta's nature though; Katniss' pleasure and enjoyment would always come first, before his own. He needed to touch more of her, and wanted her to give herself up to him so badly. When the sensation of her hand on him and the sight of her on top of him became too much he growled, and stilled her by grabbing her hips. She stopped what she was doing and sat up in question. Peeta lifted her thin, pretty night dress up and over her head and let it fall to the floor. She was naked before him, and the most exquisite thing he had ever seen. Her cheeks were flushed, her chest heaved, and her succulent nipples were pebbled. Those grey eyes were boring into his, inviting him to take her, to do as he wanted with her - to her.

He helped guide her down his body, to rest over his waist, her legs on either side of him. They looked at each other the whole time, never breaking eye contact. She ran her hands over the torso she appreciated so much and lowered herself onto him, taking her time, feeling every inch of him. Peeta groaned at the feel of her tight walls clenching around him, and Katniss had to bite down on her bottom lip to keep from crying out. He was so big this way.

The two of them felt like they were drowning in the sensation of being together like this. It had only been a few days since their last time but it seemed so much longer. She waited until his jaw stopped clenching, and then began to move above him, trying out different speeds and rhythms while his hands remained on her hips. Their pants became louder, more frequent and echoed across the room, allowing both of them to hear the other's pleasure.

Peeta watched Katniss above him, claiming him, riding him, her body arching back in bliss. They had tried this position a few times now, and each time Katniss became more confident, bolder. It was a sight to behold. One only _his_ eyes would ever see. He moved his hands over the flat of her stomach, towards the swell of her breasts, before cupping them, feeling them in his adept hands. He lightly brushed his thumbs over her erect nipples and she moaned, opened her eyes, and locked onto his. Both their mouths were slightly parted, their eyes now in a haze of pleasure. They couldn't possibly last.

Peeta sat up, clutched her to him, and held her close. He teased her breasts with his mouth, his tongue, and his teeth. Katniss threw her head back and grabbed hold of his hair, tugging on the roots, wanting to show her approval at what he was doing, never wanting the feeling to end, never wanting him to stop. He reached a hand down their bodies, touching her moist, tender nub, and rubbed it in circles. Gently at first, just to tease her, then with more force, circling faster. As Katniss moved above him he adjusted his hands position to match her movements, kissing his way across her neck and collar bone.

"Does that feel good," he asked her, still circling.

"Ye . . . yes," she managed to say before whimpering.

He smiled and kissed her neck again, soft, luscious kisses that were like a mark on her, letting people know she was his. He knew it was hard for her to say she liked what he was doing out loud but sometimes he needed to hear her say it. Katniss knew this and didn't begrudge him it. More than anything, he deserved to hear her say it.

She cried out, the pleasure overtaking her body quickly and coating him in more of her arousal. She held onto his broad shoulders, biting down on him, inhaling his scent while he held her hips, helping her movements. Only then could she feel his thrusts become fast and shallow, and knew it wouldn't take much more for him to join her.

Peeta groaned and shuddered underneath her while Katniss cupped his face in her hands and watched him shatter in pleasure. She loved watching him fall apart, and knew she was the only one capable of getting this response from him. The sounds he made were glorious - they reminded her how far they had come from their shadowy past and that this was only the start of their life together. They had so much more to experience and accomplish and as long as they had each other everything would be okay. Being together made the pain and nightmares they still endured worth it.

They both stilled and held each other, letting their breathing return to normal. Katniss wiped some of Peeta's damp hair away from his forehead while he caressed her cheek very lightly.

Sighing with contentment she climbed off of him and lay down with him next to her.

"That was a nice wake up call. I could get used to it," he said, trying to hide his smile but not doing a very good job.

"Even when you're getting up at 4am for the bakery," she replied, smiling.

"Well, okay maybe not," he said chuckling.

She ran her hand over his neck, his arm, his chest. "Your skin's getting better," she whispered, not wanting to break the lightness of the moment but unable to hold back.

"So is yours," he said, unsure if she wanted him to continue this conversation or if she was just stating a fact and didn't mean for him to reply.

"You're beautiful," she said, close to tears, not knowing why this topic was affecting her so much.

Peeta pulled her closer, tucked her head underneath his chin and inhaled the scent of her hair. She buried her face in his chest and tried not to cry.

He kissed her softly, held onto her, waited for her to continue talking. It wasn't easy for her but she was trying. She owed it to herself and to him to share her feelings.

"I would never have felt this way about anyone but you," she admitted, shedding silent tears that landed on his chest.

He lifted her face in his strong hands and kissed her fiercely on the lips, wondering how he ever got lucky enough to be with the only girl he's ever wanted. Even after all this time she had no idea the effect she had on him.

They pulled apart, gasping for air, his bright blue eyes boring into her clear grey ones.

"This is real isn't it?" he asked, his tone betraying the vulnerability underneath.

"Real," she said.

Smiling, she urged him on top of her, not satisfied until every inch of his body was pressed against hers. Peeta wanting her was a feeling she would never get tired of.

And maybe, if this was how they could spend their days perhaps winter wasn't as unkind as she imagined it to be.


	3. The lake

**Took me a while but I finally finished. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed and followed this so far it's very much appreciated. Big thanks to titania522 for beta'ing for me. Enjoy!**

Finally she was here. It had taken her all morning but when she looked at the view in front of her, it was worth it. Stretching for miles, as far as her eye could see was the lake, her lake. She took it all in. The water, calm and glistening, looked so inviting she almost forgot how crisp a day it was and was tempted to take a swim, or at least submerge herself in it. The sun might have been bright, but there was no mistaking the chill in the air, or the way the frost still clung to the trees and the ground below her. No doubt the water would be freezing and it wasn't the sort of day you could let yourself dry off without a towel. All she would really get for her troubles would be a cold. _Next time _she promised herself.

She lay a blanket on the cold, hard ground and tried to settle herself, and brought her knees up to her chest as her hands held a flask of tea. The hot liquid felt good running down her throat, and soothed the chill that had began to set in. She thought about the first time she came here, after the war, after returning to District 12. She never would have bothered if Peeta hadn't come back into her life. Seeing him plant those primroses had flicked a switch inside of her and it was frightening to think how she would be without him. She shuddered; it didn't really bear thinking about. She could understand why Haymitch was the way he was. It could have just as easily been her. But her weapon of choice would have been starvation. It would be slower, and a lot more painful. She didn't deserve anything less.

She closed her eyes, and tried to force herself to focus on other things. The last time she became consumed by these feelings, she had completely withdrawn from everyone and everything around her. She didn't leave her room, didn't shower, didn't eat and ignored everyone who tried to help pull her out of it. The relief, hurt and vulnerability on Peeta's handsome face when she came to broke her heart. She never wanted to see that look again. The way he ran to her and broke down was imprinted on her brain. He collapsed on the floor and took her with him, clinging to her like he would never let go. She tried to reassure him and straddled his waist, cupped his face in her hands and said sorry over and over. She had kissed his forehead, his moist eyelids, his nose, his wet cheeks and his plump lips before lightly kissing her way across his jaw. Eventually he began to feel calmer, his trembling subsiding. His shuddering breaths slowed and his hold on her loosened.

God, would she ever stop hurting him?

She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and tried to stifle her sobs. Only Peeta could have this effect on her. Would she always feel like she didn't deserve him?

The times when she had said this out loud, Peeta had stopped her immediately and wouldn't hear of it. To him, it was important they were together now and working towards their future. The past was important in shaping them as people, and how it changed their lives (everyone's lives) and how it brought them closer together but that's where it ended. It didn't define them or their relationship, contrary to what everyone else thought.

Peeta noticed it more often than Katniss, maybe because he was so attuned to others feelings and moods but the people left in District 12 looked at them as if they were only together because they were too damaged to be with anyone else. And he knew underneath all of that what it really came down to. A boy like him was not meant to be with a girl like Katniss.

He restrained himself from saying anything for fear of upsetting her but when he was alone and suffered one of his flashbacks it was there, and would work its way to the surface, taunting him with its cruelty. When he came out of it, all he needed to keep him tethered to reality was her. Katniss telling him she loved him made all the doubts and insecurities disappear. For the most part.

She shivered, the last of her tea gone. Just how long had she been out here. She needed to leave before her thoughts escalated into something more sinister. And she wanted to be home and freshened up for when Peeta came home.

Decided, she stood and packed everything away. She should eat something of the food she brought but her appetite was gone. Hopefully the walk to Victors Village would help with that. She needed to get out of this spiral or Peeta would worry. The bakery was draining his energy at the moment, and she didn't want him concerned for her without a good reason.

Walking home seemed to take so much longer. She felt tired, irritable, hungry and in desperate need of a shower. All of which was her own fault, making her more cranky. Although when the house came into view she couldn't help but smile a little. It was their home, hers and Peeta's.

Dumping her stuff at the kitchen table she quickly made toast and guzzled a cool glass of water. The bread was delicious (everything Peeta made was) but she ate it quickly. If she felt her mood slipping, she would eat as fast as possible, giving her less time to think how she deserved to go hungry. When she first came back to District 12 there were a lot of things she thought she didn't deserved. Some days it was all she could think about. She knew Prim would be happy for her, but she still hadn't been able to shake the feeling she didn't deserve any of this – to be alive, much less happy, especially with Peeta.

Peeta. Thinking of him always made her feel lighter, like she wasn't the bad person she thought herself to be. Being with him made her a better version of herself and being with her made Peeta realise he was worthy of love. And hers was the only love he ever wanted.

She felt exhausted and didn't want Peeta to see her so weary. She needed to have a shower. The hot water always made her more relaxed and would soothe her tired muscles. She made her way upstairs to their bedroom, undressed and was soon in their en-suite bathroom, immersed in it. She sighed happily. It felt so good on her skin, like it was rinsing away her troubles.

She was so engrossed she didn't hear Peeta coming home or when he called her name.

"Katniss," he asked.

He heard the water running and knowing she wouldn't hear him as he made his way upstairs, hoping to surprise her. He had closed the bakery early on a whim, wanting to see her and to have a much needed break but now that he was here and having visions of a naked, wet Katniss, he didn't feel like a rest anymore.

He could make out her slender form from the glass door and watched her for a few moments. Admired the way the chamomile soap she used lathered her flushed skin, how the water landed on her, especially those parts he liked to taste with his greedy mouth. He could feel himself start to swell and wanted to join her but didn't want to frighten her by just walking in without a warning.

"Katniss," he said.

His voice broke her out of her reverie and she turned to open the door.

"Peeta, what are you doing home? Is the bakery okay?"

He looked at her naked before him. Her long, lean legs that felt so good wrapped around his waist, her pert, round breasts that fit into his hands perfectly, and her sex that tasted so sweet when he pleasured her with his talented mouth.

"Its fine, I just closed early to come and see you."

"You didn't need to do that," she said smiling. "I'm almost done in here."

He licked his lips and his eyes darkened as he imagined having her soaking, wet body against his, how it would feel to take her in the humid, confined space. Decided, he began to remove his clothes, all the while watching her as his hard, strong body flexed and tensed with each movement.

When he dropped the last item of clothing he joined her in the shower space, and hugged her from behind, her back joining his chest. Katniss' breath caught in her throat. She hadn't expected him to do this and he'd been so quiet she hadn't thought anything of it. That should have alerted her though – Peeta was never quiet.

She sighed into him and let his strong arms envelop her as they acclimatised to being together like this.

"Do you remember the night before the Quarter Quell," she asked him.

"Most of it, yes," he said.

"I wouldn't let you go back to your room. I wouldn't let you out of my sight."

"That doesn't sound like you," he said, gently teasing her.

"You used my shower. We both did before bed. I thought about watching you," she admitted.

This little revelation made his heart swell with happiness, and he could feel himself begin to harden even more against her. He wanted her, badly.

"So, you wanted to join me in the shower," he said smirking.

"No of course not!" she replied flustered.

"It's okay, pretty sure I wouldn't have wanted you to join me either," he joked before lowering his head to pepper kisses along the left side of her neck.

She moaned, and tilted her neck for him to have better access to the exposed, moist flesh.

As his mouth kissed, nipped and sucked at her skin he unclasped his arms from around her and brought them up her ribcage before they reached the swell of her breasts. He lightly cupped them in his hands, stroking his thumbs over her nipples and she groaned, falling into his chest further.

With his hands and mouth on her the thought of what else they could do in the confined space made her body tingle and throb, especially that place between her legs that adored him so much.

She reached one arm back and threaded her hand through his soaked hair while the other latched onto the tiles in front of her for support.

Peeta stopped his tease on her neck and lowered one of his palms from her breast to the wet inside of her thighs, where she was pulsing, desperate for him to touch her. He ghosted his fingers over her slick folds before he lightly brushed his thumb across her clit to tease her.

"Peeta!" she gasped out as she surged her hips back into him and felt how hard he had become. Hoping his thumb would find her again she gripped his hair harder and thrust her backside into him.

He growled, and cupped her centre, stilling her.

"Do you think we should do what we should have done the night before the Quarter Quell?" he asked her.

"Yes," she whispered.

He withdrew his hand from her and spun her around until she faced him and captured her mouth in a fierce kiss. Their tongues battled furiously as he lifted her up and hooked her legs around his waist.

He probed her with the head of his cock, coating himself in her arousal as they both whimpered at the contact.

Feeling he had a firm enough hold of her he thrusted up, his cock now enveloped within her tight, velvet walls where it belonged. They both moaned in pleasure at being joined like this, and how good it felt.

He seized her hips and she began to bob above him, both of them getting used to this new position. Her back lightly hit the cool tiles, giving him leverage as he continued his gentle thrusting. Her eyes were closed in bliss and as he watched her, he thought how she belonged to him. How she would always belong to him.

Sensing they both needed more, he began to thrust harder, faster and their hips slapped against each other, the water magnifying the sound. One of her hands maintained a tight grip on his hair while the other scratched down his muscular back to clasp his succulent backside. He latched onto one of her breasts and began to suck and swirl his tongue around her pebbled nipple, before giving the other the same attention making her throw her head back, and groan in ecstasy at the sensations coursing through her body.

It was too much, the feel of his hot, hard body pressed against hers, the strong hold he had of her, the way his mouth lavished her breasts. Where they were joined was so moist and slippery it created the perfect friction against her clit and their position was making him hit a spot she didn't even know existed inside of her. She opened her eyes to look at him, and he looked so feral in his desire for her it took her breath away. With his next hard thrust, her pleasure spiked unexpectedly, her walls clenched around him, claiming him and she cried out, clinging to his strong body as he reached his own climax. He spilled himself inside of her and their moans seemed to ricochet off the tiles, the hot water making their bodies glide effortlessly against the other.

He lowered her down and kept a hold of her, both of them in awe of what they just experienced together. They kissed, and stayed in the enclosed space a while longer, not wanting the moment to end.

As they helped each other dry off, Peeta's thoughts drifted back to their earlier conversation.

"What made think of the Quarter Quell?" he asked her.

"It just came into my head. How there were so many times we were alone and I wish I'd made the most of it."

"It doesn't matter because we're with each other now."

It was statements like that that reminded her how much she really needed Peeta. More than that, she wanted him, and for some bizarre, spectacular, crazy reason, he wanted her.

She cupped his face in her hands and stroked his cheeks with her thumbs, noting the light stubble he had there.

"I know. This would have happened anyway," she told him.

"It would have happened anyway," he whispered in reverence.

He smiled, and hugged her to him as her eyes glistened with tears. She never thought she could be so happy, never thought she deserved any kind of happiness, and to have it with him made everything more bearable.


End file.
